February 22, 2005
How to Love yourself from A to Z
by Azizza Stein
You are special. You are life. You are love. How many
seminars have to you gone to that has told you to love
yourself. We keep hearing this message over and over again
but, what does it really mean?
We all want a wonderful life experiences for ourselves and
our children. There are dreams and prayers that we send
energy to on a regular basis.
As women, we are nurturers and caretakers, anchoring the
weight of the world on our shoulders. We are nurturing our
children and our spouses and some times even our parents.
But who nurtures us?
We sometimes feel tired or run down but we continue along
the path taking care of everyone and everything in our
paths except for ourselves.
It never ocurred to me that I was not loving myself.
Neglecting myself, maybe but actually hating myself,
absolutely not! I actually would have argued to the
contrary until one day at work a co-worker said to me "You
are like a camel, you never go out to lunch or even go to
the bathroom." Usually whatever Miss Nosey Rosey had to say would go into
one ear and out the other but today, I was in a receptive
space and actually heard her. As the words came tumbling
out of her mouth, it hit me that she was actually right.
For years I would never leave my office at all during my 8
hour shift unless I was going to a meeting in the
conference room. I purposely didn't drink water during the
day so that I wouldn't have to run to the bathroom every 5
minutes. I only used the bathroom once a day at work and
that was before I left for the day.
Everyday for hours I would sit at my desk trying to keep my
work pile and my inbox under control. Every morning i would
arrive and new assignments would need my urgent attention.
I would work diligently all day skipping lunch and not even
leaving to go to the restroom. I wouldn't even drink a cup
of coffee in the morning because I thought that it would
disrupt my work flow.
I thought that by skipping the bathroom trips and even
lunch that I could be more efficient and actually lose
weight. I would always make a goal for myself in order to
go to the bathroom. I would set the goal so high that I
would never make it. I treated it like a reward. For
example, I would say to myself, as soon as I clear out my
email I will go to the bathroom or as soon as I return all
of my calls I will go to the bathroom. As soon as I do
these 20 things I will go to the bathroom.
After Dina's comment, I begin to take notice of how often I
actually went to the bathroom. Once a day, when I was
getting ready to leave the office. I would tell myself
throughout the day to get up and go and I never went.
After a visit to the doctor for a routine checkup I was
told that I have a kidney infection. A what? An infection
caused by holding my urine for hours at a time. I was
given antibiotics and told to monitor my water intake. To
make sure that I was drinking at least 8 glasses a day. I
said that I would and of course I didn't. I was too busy
for kidney infections and 8 glasses of water per day. I
decided that I would monitor myself a little more closely
so I started to notice that I also didn't make it to the
bathroom at home very often. There, I was also waiting
until dinner was finished, then waiting for the kitchen to
be cleaned, the children off to bed, the lunches made for
the next day. It continued on and on with no bathroom
break in site.
Then, in the middle of the night, I felt this horrendous
pain! I thought that I was going to die. Off to the
hospital with my family worried to death, we learned that
my kidney infection had gotten worse! No, I had not been
taking the medication as prescribed and no I had not been
drinking water. My husband was astonished. He couldn't
believe that I would take such terrible care of myself.
After a long talk and a lot of tears, I decided that I
would start a new game with myself. This time I would get
a point for everytime that I visited the little girls room.
You know what, it worked! Immediately, things started
happening.
First, my mood changed. I had released the attitude of
have to do it and have to do it now. I started feeling
better about everything. Then, I started making new
friends in the office and began going out to lunch twice a
week. We would try new restaurants and this allowed me to
enjoy fresh fruit and salad.
Finally, I saw the 15 pounds that I had been trying to lose
fall by the wayside, like magic. I was no longer locked
behind my desk and I was starting to truly love myself.
WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF WHILE WORKING
1. Make a schedule for yourself daily which includes all of
your breaks. Schedule lunch, bathroom and chat breaks.
2. Keep water at your desk at all times. When the bottle
is empty immediately go fill it up again.
3. Bring healthy snacks to work and avoid the snack machine
4. Take the long way to the bathroom, copier, water machine
or anywhere else that you have to go while at the office
5. Take several deep breaths throughout the day. 6. Stand up and stretch
7. Whenever possible take the stairs
8. Park far away from the door or if you are in a big city
get on the train at the opposite end from where you exit.
9. Read motivational/inspirational books or listen to
motivational CD's as often as possible
10. Laugh, listen, love, lighten up and have fun!
Discover a new way to love and pamper yourself everyday.
Begin to use at least one tool a day. Make a list of other
ways that you can relax and shower yourself with self love.
When you get stuck, look to your list for other exciting
things to do to water your soul at home and at work.
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